Streaks on the China--A commentary by Mr. Belvedere
03.30.04 (9:03 pm) [edit]
"Greetings fellow bloggers!! It has been much too long--this I am aware. I have some general housekeeping I need to take care of....
First, I would like to wish Lauren a happy 18th birthday. She is one of my favorite bloggers and I certainly hope she has a great day! She is now legal in all 50 states, having been legal in West Virginia since the age of 12 (I think). Anyway, dearest Lauren, enjoy your happy day!
We are happy to announce a new friend has joined the ranks of "fellow blogger". Welcome to Jenn from Texas! She is a load of fun, and a fellow red head like Craig.
Now for the rest of the story. As most of you know I am dead and communicate via Ouija Board with Craig, who then types out my daily rants. Last night, while we were talking, I Ouija'ed the phrase "My mother was a tall hag". Craig thought I said "My mother liked wearing a ball gag." An argument ensued, and the conversation ended....
**CRAIG'S NOTE: MR. BELVEDERE SAID BALL GAG!!!!
Ok, back to ME (Mr. B) Ouija board communication is difficult to say the least, but I have yet to perfect haunting his apartment and showing up as a ghost. When this does happen, I will not only scare the piss out of him, I will be able to blog more often.
Until next time my friends--be well!"
--Mr. B
First, I would like to wish Lauren a happy 18th birthday. She is one of my favorite bloggers and I certainly hope she has a great day! She is now legal in all 50 states, having been legal in West Virginia since the age of 12 (I think). Anyway, dearest Lauren, enjoy your happy day!
We are happy to announce a new friend has joined the ranks of "fellow blogger". Welcome to Jenn from Texas! She is a load of fun, and a fellow red head like Craig.
Now for the rest of the story. As most of you know I am dead and communicate via Ouija Board with Craig, who then types out my daily rants. Last night, while we were talking, I Ouija'ed the phrase "My mother was a tall hag". Craig thought I said "My mother liked wearing a ball gag." An argument ensued, and the conversation ended....
**CRAIG'S NOTE: MR. BELVEDERE SAID BALL GAG!!!!
Ok, back to ME (Mr. B) Ouija board communication is difficult to say the least, but I have yet to perfect haunting his apartment and showing up as a ghost. When this does happen, I will not only scare the piss out of him, I will be able to blog more often.
Until next time my friends--be well!"
--Mr. B
Mr. B's Mailbag
03.11.04 (1:55 pm) [edit]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! Let us dive into the mailbag and see what happens!"
Dear Mr. Belvedere,
Last night our family was playing a game of yahtzee. During the game I discovered my daughter was cheating. She marked down 2 extra points, which is a clear violation of the rules. She got all bent out of shape because I grounded her for 6 months for being dishonest.
Is it wrong to want my family to go ONE freaking game of yahtzee without cheating? How hard is it to count the dice totals correctly and then transfer them onto the official scorecard? I ask you this! Tell me!!!
--Yahtzeed out in Yuma
[i]Dear Yahtzeed,
I think you need an enema. Seriously. A huge vinegar enema. Do it now. Please. Do it now.
Sincerely,
Mr. B[/i]
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**Disclaimer: Mr. Belvedere is dead. He writes his blog from Heaven by communicating with irishred via ouija board each night.
Dear Mr. Belvedere,
Last night our family was playing a game of yahtzee. During the game I discovered my daughter was cheating. She marked down 2 extra points, which is a clear violation of the rules. She got all bent out of shape because I grounded her for 6 months for being dishonest.
Is it wrong to want my family to go ONE freaking game of yahtzee without cheating? How hard is it to count the dice totals correctly and then transfer them onto the official scorecard? I ask you this! Tell me!!!
--Yahtzeed out in Yuma
[i]Dear Yahtzeed,
I think you need an enema. Seriously. A huge vinegar enema. Do it now. Please. Do it now.
Sincerely,
Mr. B[/i]
**Disclaimer: Mr. Belvedere is dead. He writes his blog from Heaven by communicating with irishred via ouija board each night.