Streaks on the China--A Commentary by Mr. Belvedere
04.26.04 (6:05 am) [edit]
[i]Mr. Belvedere is dead. He communicates via ouija board with Craig a few times a week. Craig then types out what Mr. Belvedere has to say, the end result being this blog. Please do not freak out--Mr. Belvedere only haunts people who did not like his show[/i].
[b]This is Mr. Belvedere's weekly column "Streaks on the China". It was named after the first line in the show's theme song, and has a peculiar ring to it.[/b]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! I do hope you had a fantastic weekend! I know that I did. My friend Rock Hudson and I took fifth place in the annual St. Peter Bocce Ball tournament! Had it not been for your truly, we probably would have finished in the lower tier. To be flat honest, Rock Hudson sucks at Bocce ball. The only reason I asked him to be my partner is because I admire him for being one of the few people on earth to tape my television program when he was alive. That my friends takes guts.
Now to the good stuff. Last week I did a column called I Believe" and it went over like wildfire. So, I thought I would add a few more and ask you to continue the tradition by doing an "I Believe" of your own.
1. I believe that swiss cheese needs more holes.
2. I believe that Vincent Van Gogh discovered Crack.
3. I believe that if someone has bad B.O. you should make them aware of it.
4. I believe that TIC TACS are delicious!
5. I believe that if I did a syndicated show with the men from Queer eye for the Straight Guy, it would be number one.
Now it's your turn.....
--Mr. B
[b]This is Mr. Belvedere's weekly column "Streaks on the China". It was named after the first line in the show's theme song, and has a peculiar ring to it.[/b]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! I do hope you had a fantastic weekend! I know that I did. My friend Rock Hudson and I took fifth place in the annual St. Peter Bocce Ball tournament! Had it not been for your truly, we probably would have finished in the lower tier. To be flat honest, Rock Hudson sucks at Bocce ball. The only reason I asked him to be my partner is because I admire him for being one of the few people on earth to tape my television program when he was alive. That my friends takes guts.
Now to the good stuff. Last week I did a column called I Believe" and it went over like wildfire. So, I thought I would add a few more and ask you to continue the tradition by doing an "I Believe" of your own.
1. I believe that swiss cheese needs more holes.
2. I believe that Vincent Van Gogh discovered Crack.
3. I believe that if someone has bad B.O. you should make them aware of it.
4. I believe that TIC TACS are delicious!
5. I believe that if I did a syndicated show with the men from Queer eye for the Straight Guy, it would be number one.
Now it's your turn.....
--Mr. B
I Believe. --A Commentary by Mr. Belvedere
04.22.04 (5:59 am) [edit]
[i]Mr. Belvedere is dead. He communicates via ouija board with Craig a few times a week. Craig then types out what Mr. Belvedere has to say, the end result being this blog. Please do not freak out--Mr. Belvedere only haunts people who did not like his show.[/i]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! Today I would like to spice things up with a little thing I call I believe....after you read this, please feel free to comment with something that you believe. I would love to read them!"
1. I believe that innocence is NOT bliss.
2. I believe that pickles are good, pickle juice is the devil.
3. I believe that it is acceptible to pass gas on public transportation. It makes it smell better.
4. I believe that paint cans now being recycleable plastic should have been invented years ago. That said, it's a damn good thing.
5. I believe, that when the hurting and the pain has gone, we will be strong...yes we will be strong. (if you know this song and who sings it I will be very impressed!)
6. I believe in the father, the son, and the holy spirit (Sorry, God made me write this.)
7. I believe that if they brought my show back for 6 weeks Americans would embrace it more than AMerican Idol.
Ok my friends, let us hear yours now.....
--Mr. B
"Greetings fellow bloggers! Today I would like to spice things up with a little thing I call I believe....after you read this, please feel free to comment with something that you believe. I would love to read them!"
1. I believe that innocence is NOT bliss.
2. I believe that pickles are good, pickle juice is the devil.
3. I believe that it is acceptible to pass gas on public transportation. It makes it smell better.
4. I believe that paint cans now being recycleable plastic should have been invented years ago. That said, it's a damn good thing.
5. I believe, that when the hurting and the pain has gone, we will be strong...yes we will be strong. (if you know this song and who sings it I will be very impressed!)
6. I believe in the father, the son, and the holy spirit (Sorry, God made me write this.)
7. I believe that if they brought my show back for 6 weeks Americans would embrace it more than AMerican Idol.
Ok my friends, let us hear yours now.....
--Mr. B
What ever happened to Ricky Martin?
04.13.04 (11:03 am) [edit]
[i]Mr. Belvedere is dead. He communicates via ouija board with Craig a few times a week. Craig then types out what Mr. Belvedere has to say, the end result being this blog. Please do not freak out--Mr. Belvedere only haunts people who did not like his show.[/i]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! I was listening to an old eight track of Menudo, and it got me thinking...what ever happened to Ricky Martin? He sang that shake your bon bon crap and ever since he is like gone...he vaished as fast as 98 degrees did....
At any rate, here are some observations I made over the weekend.
1. The Passion of Christ is a better movie than The South Park movie that came out a few years ago.
2. Quiznos subs no longer uses the mice/hamsters. I wonder why....I wonder if people bitched about them so much the President of Quiznos said "Ah, fuck it."
3. Easter egg coloring is fun, unless you use those damn PAAS wire holders. They are flimsy pieces o' crap.
4. Phil Mickleson won the Masters golf tourney! BRAVO!!!
5. Craig is all "Mr. Hockey Playoff Guy" this month and next. Nice life.
Have a wonderful day my friends!!! Visit often and leave me some fun comments!!!"
---Mr. B
"Greetings fellow bloggers! I was listening to an old eight track of Menudo, and it got me thinking...what ever happened to Ricky Martin? He sang that shake your bon bon crap and ever since he is like gone...he vaished as fast as 98 degrees did....
At any rate, here are some observations I made over the weekend.
1. The Passion of Christ is a better movie than The South Park movie that came out a few years ago.
2. Quiznos subs no longer uses the mice/hamsters. I wonder why....I wonder if people bitched about them so much the President of Quiznos said "Ah, fuck it."
3. Easter egg coloring is fun, unless you use those damn PAAS wire holders. They are flimsy pieces o' crap.
4. Phil Mickleson won the Masters golf tourney! BRAVO!!!
5. Craig is all "Mr. Hockey Playoff Guy" this month and next. Nice life.
Have a wonderful day my friends!!! Visit often and leave me some fun comments!!!"
---Mr. B
Complicated
04.09.04 (7:51 am) [edit]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! You may not know this, but I used to be a big mega star in Hollywood during my days as the lead part in Mr. Belvedere. I had quite a fan base. But no one ever stalked me! Why in the hell would anyone want to stalk Avril Lavigne? She's a punk! Here is the story....
James Speedy, 30, was booked into jail for investigation of stalking after police searched his Seattle suburban home Wednesday _ the same day the 19-year-old Canadian singer and Grammy nominee played a free concert at a mall south of Seattle.
He later posted $5,000 bail and was released.
Officers have been investigating the case since last summer, when they were contacted by Ontario, Canada, police about harassing letters and e-mails sent to Lavigne, Detective Jerry Reiner said.
"These did place the family of Avril Lavigne, and Avril Lavigne herself, in fear," Reiner said. He refused to discuss the content of the messages.
Speedy does not have a listed telephone number; it was unclear whether he had obtained a lawyer.
James Speedy, 30, was booked into jail for investigation of stalking after police searched his Seattle suburban home Wednesday _ the same day the 19-year-old Canadian singer and Grammy nominee played a free concert at a mall south of Seattle.
He later posted $5,000 bail and was released.
Officers have been investigating the case since last summer, when they were contacted by Ontario, Canada, police about harassing letters and e-mails sent to Lavigne, Detective Jerry Reiner said.
"These did place the family of Avril Lavigne, and Avril Lavigne herself, in fear," Reiner said. He refused to discuss the content of the messages.
Speedy does not have a listed telephone number; it was unclear whether he had obtained a lawyer.
Streaks on the China--A commentary by Mr. Belvedere
04.07.04 (9:51 am) [edit]
[i]Mr. Belvedere is dead. He communicates via ouija board with Craig a few times a week. Craig then types out what Mr. Belvedere has to say, the end result being this blog. Please do not freak out--Mr. Belvedere only haunts people who did not like his show.[/i]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! Today I would like to talk about repentance! The following story is an prime example of a man who knows what the phrase "eye for an eye" truly means. Please note, I do not endorse this type of stupidity, I only applaud him, tongue in cheek.
[b]SHERMAN, Texas (AP) -- A jailed man accused of killing and cutting out the hearts of his son, estranged wife and her daughter plucked out his own eye and then quoted from the Bible, officials said Tuesday.
Andre L. Thomas was in a county jail cell Friday night when he tore his eye out of its socket with his hands, said Grayson County Sheriff Keith Gary.
Thomas, 21, then quoted the verse Mark 9:47: "And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell."
Thomas was taken to a hospital and the eyeball was put on ice, but it could not be reattached. He is now being held in restraints at the jail, the sheriff said.[/b]
"Do you agree with what he did? Anyone? ......I do believe the eyes have it."
--Mr. B
"Greetings fellow bloggers! Today I would like to talk about repentance! The following story is an prime example of a man who knows what the phrase "eye for an eye" truly means. Please note, I do not endorse this type of stupidity, I only applaud him, tongue in cheek.
[b]SHERMAN, Texas (AP) -- A jailed man accused of killing and cutting out the hearts of his son, estranged wife and her daughter plucked out his own eye and then quoted from the Bible, officials said Tuesday.
Andre L. Thomas was in a county jail cell Friday night when he tore his eye out of its socket with his hands, said Grayson County Sheriff Keith Gary.
Thomas, 21, then quoted the verse Mark 9:47: "And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell."
Thomas was taken to a hospital and the eyeball was put on ice, but it could not be reattached. He is now being held in restraints at the jail, the sheriff said.[/b]
"Do you agree with what he did? Anyone? ......I do believe the eyes have it."
--Mr. B
"Oh the Humanity"--A commentray by Mr. Belvedere
04.06.04 (6:50 am) [edit]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! This is just absurd. One of the top stories today in the news is J-Lo's mother hits the jackpot.
Jennifer Lopez's mother wins $2.4 million
ATLANTIC CITY (AP) — Jennifer Lopez's mother won a $2.4 million jackpot while playing $1 slots at Atlantic City.
My first thought is, who gives a rats ass? If I won the jackpot it probably wouldn't even make the page next to the obituaries.
Let us have some real news!!
Jennifer Lopez's mother wins $2.4 million
ATLANTIC CITY (AP) — Jennifer Lopez's mother won a $2.4 million jackpot while playing $1 slots at Atlantic City.
My first thought is, who gives a rats ass? If I won the jackpot it probably wouldn't even make the page next to the obituaries.
Let us have some real news!!
Belvedere's TOP TEN LISTS
04.05.04 (6:39 pm) [edit]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! Here are my top 10 under-appreciated sitcom actors and actresses...."
10. Mrs. Garret from Facts of Life
9. Philip Drummond from Different Strokes
8. Wesley from Mr. Belvedere
9. Potsey from Happy Days (sorry Donny)
8. Mr. Bentley from The Jeffersons
7. The youngest kid from Family Ties
6. J J Walker from Good Times
5. DJ from Roseanne
4. Alvin from The Cosby Show
3. Phil from Cheers
2. Lowell from Wings
1. Gee...I wonder....
10. Mrs. Garret from Facts of Life
9. Philip Drummond from Different Strokes
8. Wesley from Mr. Belvedere
9. Potsey from Happy Days (sorry Donny)
8. Mr. Bentley from The Jeffersons
7. The youngest kid from Family Ties
6. J J Walker from Good Times
5. DJ from Roseanne
4. Alvin from The Cosby Show
3. Phil from Cheers
2. Lowell from Wings
1. Gee...I wonder....
My favorite planet is Uranus.
04.02.04 (1:46 pm) [edit]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! Today I am going to respond to some of the comments left on my blog the past few days.
"Why don't you stop contacting the living and get yourself a woman?"
--Well, I think the answer to that is rather obvious. If I did, then Craig couldn't write this blog. As for me having a woman, trust me--I am quite the stud up here in heaven.
Another blogger mentioned floggers and ballgags. I will take the fifth on this topic, as I was one kinky devil on earth. Why do you think I had lunch with Rock Hudson yesterday at the Blue Oyster?
Ok enough of that....this weekend should be a good one. The Final Four (basketball), some good cooking shows, and of course my favorite...old re-runs of my show, Mr. Belvedere. If only the folks at Nick at Nite would wise up and buy the royalties!! I highly doubt anyone is sitting on them--I am sure they would take any amount just to make SOME money off of them.
That is all for now my friends...be well!"
--Mr. B
"Why don't you stop contacting the living and get yourself a woman?"
--Well, I think the answer to that is rather obvious. If I did, then Craig couldn't write this blog. As for me having a woman, trust me--I am quite the stud up here in heaven.
Another blogger mentioned floggers and ballgags. I will take the fifth on this topic, as I was one kinky devil on earth. Why do you think I had lunch with Rock Hudson yesterday at the Blue Oyster?
Ok enough of that....this weekend should be a good one. The Final Four (basketball), some good cooking shows, and of course my favorite...old re-runs of my show, Mr. Belvedere. If only the folks at Nick at Nite would wise up and buy the royalties!! I highly doubt anyone is sitting on them--I am sure they would take any amount just to make SOME money off of them.
That is all for now my friends...be well!"
--Mr. B
Automatic for the People
04.01.04 (9:55 am) [edit]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! Today I am listening to one my favorite albums, "Automatic for the People" by REM. Released in 1992 (that's scary), it contains some of the best all-around music that REM created. Craig and I are in one of those REM moods today. He has an REM marathon going at his desk!
I am happy to announce that my mum has forgiven me for using her name and the word ballgag in the same sentence. It cost me a box of english chocolates and I haver to make the tea for the next millennium, but we are both dead, so it's not like we are going anywhere.
People ask me all the time what it is like for a second-rate tv sitcom actor in heaven. My answer is--the same as it is for first rate sitcom actors. After a certain time they all forget about us! (chuckles slightly).
I must go now--I am having lunch with Rock Hudson. I think we are going to The Blue Oyster.
Love,
Mr. B
I am happy to announce that my mum has forgiven me for using her name and the word ballgag in the same sentence. It cost me a box of english chocolates and I haver to make the tea for the next millennium, but we are both dead, so it's not like we are going anywhere.
People ask me all the time what it is like for a second-rate tv sitcom actor in heaven. My answer is--the same as it is for first rate sitcom actors. After a certain time they all forget about us! (chuckles slightly).
I must go now--I am having lunch with Rock Hudson. I think we are going to The Blue Oyster.
Love,
Mr. B