Streaks on the China...A commentary by Mr. Belvedere
06.22.04 (5:20 pm) [edit]
[i]Mr. Belvedere is dead. He communicates via ouija board with Craig a few times a week. Craig then types out what Mr. Belvedere has to say, the end result being this blog. Please do not freak out--Mr. Belvedere only haunts people who did not like his show.[/i]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! The Great Cicada Caper of '04 appears to be over according to my dear friend Craig back in Cincinnati. It could not have come a moment too soon, because I have noticed how distracted he is when we talk on the ouija board. It is hard my friends, for a spirit such as I to muster the necessary energy to communicate!
I am still campaigning to have re-runs of my show broadcast on St. Peter Cable up here in heaven. So far I have been shot down at every turn, but I maintain that in time these spirits up here will grow tired of the Waltons and Mama's Family. (I hate Mama's Family.)
I must be off for the night--I do hope you have a great Wednesday!"
--Mr. B
"Greetings fellow bloggers! The Great Cicada Caper of '04 appears to be over according to my dear friend Craig back in Cincinnati. It could not have come a moment too soon, because I have noticed how distracted he is when we talk on the ouija board. It is hard my friends, for a spirit such as I to muster the necessary energy to communicate!
I am still campaigning to have re-runs of my show broadcast on St. Peter Cable up here in heaven. So far I have been shot down at every turn, but I maintain that in time these spirits up here will grow tired of the Waltons and Mama's Family. (I hate Mama's Family.)
I must be off for the night--I do hope you have a great Wednesday!"
--Mr. B
Mr. B's Mailbag
06.15.04 (8:28 pm) [edit]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! It seems we have a backload of mail so we better get to it and see what happens!
[b]Dear Mr. B,
Can chicks play dodgeball?
Dan in Dover.[/b]
[i]Dan,
"Chicks"? You must get very little sex my friend.
Mr. B[/i]
[b]Dear Mr. Belvedere,
My husband told me yesterday that I should buy a tin of altoids. Does he think my breath is that bad?
Shelly in Seattle[/b]
[i]Dearest Shelly,
No my love, you do not have bad breath...I do believe your husband may be trying to hint at something....sexual (winks). Go buy that tin of altoids and see what happens!
Mr. B[/i]
[b]Dear Mr. B,
Can chicks play dodgeball?
Dan in Dover.[/b]
[i]Dan,
"Chicks"? You must get very little sex my friend.
Mr. B[/i]
[b]Dear Mr. Belvedere,
My husband told me yesterday that I should buy a tin of altoids. Does he think my breath is that bad?
Shelly in Seattle[/b]
[i]Dearest Shelly,
No my love, you do not have bad breath...I do believe your husband may be trying to hint at something....sexual (winks). Go buy that tin of altoids and see what happens!
Mr. B[/i]
Observations from Heaven
06.08.04 (8:43 pm) [edit]
Mr. Belvedere is dead. He communicates via ouija board with Craig a few times a week. Craig then types out what Mr. Belvedere has to say, the end result being this blog. Please do not freak out--Mr. Belvedere only haunts people who did not like his show.
"Greetings fellow bloggers! Tonight I would like to give you a few of my observations from heaven. Since none of you know what it is like up here, I thought you may enjoy this peek into my world.
1. God wears sneakers. Yes, this is true, he wears those high top canvas sneakers. He has many colors too, including taupe and periwinkle.
2. Not everyone is heaven is thin. This is a falicy my friends. If you were chubby on earth, you remain chubby in heaven. All of us chusters are waiting for Richard Simmons to get his butt up here so we can sweat to the oldies.
3. Taco pizza tastes better in heaven. It's true! I just had a deluxe taco pizza the other day that made my nipples hard.
4. It never rains in heaven. It is sunny and 70 degrees everyday. People from England and Seattle who have passed on walk around in a daze...it is quite comical.
I hope this small taste of heaven was interesting for you. As time goes on I will give you some more information on heaven. For now, I must be off to bed."
--Mr. B
"Greetings fellow bloggers! Tonight I would like to give you a few of my observations from heaven. Since none of you know what it is like up here, I thought you may enjoy this peek into my world.
1. God wears sneakers. Yes, this is true, he wears those high top canvas sneakers. He has many colors too, including taupe and periwinkle.
2. Not everyone is heaven is thin. This is a falicy my friends. If you were chubby on earth, you remain chubby in heaven. All of us chusters are waiting for Richard Simmons to get his butt up here so we can sweat to the oldies.
3. Taco pizza tastes better in heaven. It's true! I just had a deluxe taco pizza the other day that made my nipples hard.
4. It never rains in heaven. It is sunny and 70 degrees everyday. People from England and Seattle who have passed on walk around in a daze...it is quite comical.
I hope this small taste of heaven was interesting for you. As time goes on I will give you some more information on heaven. For now, I must be off to bed."
--Mr. B
Mr. Belvedere...the man, the legend
06.03.04 (7:01 am) [edit]
[i]Mr. Belvedere is dead. He communicates via ouija board with Craig a few times a week. Craig then types out what Mr. Belvedere has to say, the end result being this blog. Please do not freak out--Mr. Belvedere only haunts people who did not like his show[/i]
"Greetings fellow bloggers! I am back from a vacation and ready to blog until my fingertips bellow for mercy! Ok, maybe not, but I am going to blog a bit and see what happens!....
It is nice to see T blog back in order and everyone back to blogging regularly again. I certainly missed it! Craig has informed me that he will be auditioning for The Music Man on Monday of next week, which should be great! If he gets the lead role, it will be the fifth time he has played the part of Harold Hill. His first experience was his Sophomore year in high school!
Ok, let's talk about things of importance...up here in heaven we have this chain of pizza places called "St. Peter Pie." Personally I think the name is silly, but the pizza is good and the price is to die for. Get it? (sigh) anyway, tomorrow my best friend, Rock Hudson, and I are going to throw our annual pizza bash for all of our dearly departed sitcom actor friends. We have a set of games scheduled and Rock even convinced the owner to serve alcohol (imagine that). Anyway, I think it should be a real hoot! I will keep you updated...I just hope Lucille Ball doesn't show...last year she got tanked and made out with Gilda Radner. She can be a real slut, but you didn't hear that from me.
Isn't the scoop up in heaven fun? We gossip just as much as you do! Have a great day my friends!"
--Mr. B
"Greetings fellow bloggers! I am back from a vacation and ready to blog until my fingertips bellow for mercy! Ok, maybe not, but I am going to blog a bit and see what happens!....
It is nice to see T blog back in order and everyone back to blogging regularly again. I certainly missed it! Craig has informed me that he will be auditioning for The Music Man on Monday of next week, which should be great! If he gets the lead role, it will be the fifth time he has played the part of Harold Hill. His first experience was his Sophomore year in high school!
Ok, let's talk about things of importance...up here in heaven we have this chain of pizza places called "St. Peter Pie." Personally I think the name is silly, but the pizza is good and the price is to die for. Get it? (sigh) anyway, tomorrow my best friend, Rock Hudson, and I are going to throw our annual pizza bash for all of our dearly departed sitcom actor friends. We have a set of games scheduled and Rock even convinced the owner to serve alcohol (imagine that). Anyway, I think it should be a real hoot! I will keep you updated...I just hope Lucille Ball doesn't show...last year she got tanked and made out with Gilda Radner. She can be a real slut, but you didn't hear that from me.
Isn't the scoop up in heaven fun? We gossip just as much as you do! Have a great day my friends!"
--Mr. B